Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
this hospital has no fireball
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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