what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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