Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
