The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
