can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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