He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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