Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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