I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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