OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
