i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
