hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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