How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm going to jail i love you
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's great music for shaving your balls
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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