Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
