Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
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She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You're a waste of cheezeits
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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