How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
