Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dick very happy bro
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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