She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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