So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
