dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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