'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
