the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize