Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
