Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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