i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
