Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
