I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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