My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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