how can u be prego again
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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