What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
