Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
