I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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