woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
