Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
