i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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