Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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