Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
