would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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