I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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