Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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