pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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