Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
