he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
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Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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