I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My penis needs a shock collar
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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