Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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