What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
