I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
