I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
