Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Send help, water and tortillas.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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