The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
