good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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