She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
