she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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