I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
