He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
