i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
