Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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