i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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