Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
