I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize